Cat-man Do Furs-Day – War of the Petzz
A regular monthly feature will start today on this blog, and appear every fourth Thursday.
The subject of the new column is – SHANDY CAT !
My companion of thirteen years, Shandy cat, is a sweet little cat, whose story about how he came to live with us can be found on THIS page.
Well, I have decided to hand over the keyboard to Shandy, whom will write his own post on the last Thursday of every month, only if he can have a special treat that week.
So, here is Shandy’s first post ! Take it away, Cat-man Do.
It’s me Shandy. I have got a great name haven’t I, though when Mum or Dad calls it I sometimes pretend that I have forgotten what my name is.
I was mildly impressed when Mum told me I would be commissioned to write a monthly column on her fantastic blog – all about ME.
You see, I think Mum is doing a great job by herself with her amazing blog in being an Ambassador for All Animals. That is why I gave her a Certificate for the best WordPress animals blog!
Of course I can see the merit in regularly informing her readers about a wonderful and amazing topic, being ME ….
BUT I did have to think it over long and hard, because blogging could very well interrupt my sleep time or my feeding time or my energy work which is of course is an important service that I carry out for both mum and dad at home.
Then there was a big fight between us over the name of this column. I told Mum that it is totally ridiculous to refer to me as “Cat-Man-Do”. I do not like that name and anyway I thought it was the name of a city in India. I relented when mum told me she wants an un-usual title for the Column, but made sure I told her that I think the title is bizarre and may get the opposite effect she wants, which is that not one single cat or person will read my column.
After weeks and weeks, mum and I compromised over the Title of this Column with my graciously accepting the Title and advising mum that I will take time out from my many other busy activities, to write a post every 4th Furrs-day. She is not allowed to edit my posts though.
So, what will this Column be about, you might ask? Here on the last Furrs-day of each Month I will write about the interesting things that I have done or observed over the past Month or about whatever I like. Sometimes I might write nothing, but nothing has to be some thing doesn’t it?
Today I will write about Mum not sharing her seat with me.
Mum disappears from the house sometimes during the day. She pats me when I greet her and she talks to dad, then she heads off to her study and turns on the computer. I like to sit with mum, but she won’t let me.
There is her swivel chair in front of her keyboard and plenty of room for her and me, but for as long as I can remember now, Mum tries to stop me from jumping up behind her and curling up peacefully behind her on that seat.
Well, now I think about it, I can remember when she did let me sit there many years ago. Now and then she would try to sit back on her chair and be surprised to find me there, minding my own business.
Anyhow, when I was younger I didn’t like mum picking me up because when I was a baby someone picked me up right out of the basket I shared with my siblings and mother and dumped me out the front of the house where mum and dad lived.
Sometimes before Mum used the Perfect Petzzz Carrier to bar me from her computer seat, I would find mum’s seat vacant and would hop up there and settle down for the night. Then Mum would hurry into her Study and say crossly to me “Shandy get off there”. Of course I took no notice. Mum then went to pick me up at which I would stick out my head like a tortoise and put out my claws. Mum would gave a gasp as she is easily frightened of me and race off to get Dad, whom would grab me like a sack of potatoes, and then mum would sit on her chair.
If dad was not around, if she was brave enough, mum would get a towel and gingerly pick me up with the towel, haha.
After many years of this, I guess Mum got sick of it, and then – one day I wandered into Mum’s study to find an intruder on mum’s chair. No mum sitting there but replacing mum was this red cloth and mesh carrier to carry a tiny pet in !!
To me looking at it high above me I could see it was an empty house and a house on a chair meant somebody was soon coming back to that house to live in it. That Mum is really clever I thought, at last she has learned what “barleez” means and is staking her claim on that chair, because of course I knew that the red house was Mum’s.
The next stage in mum’s cunning plan to keep me away from that chair was when I found mum sitting at her computer on that chair, BUT to my surprise the red Petzzz carrier was wedged behind her on the seat !!
Mum has gone cuckoo I thought, because the Petzz carrier shouldn’t be there obviously as that little space behind mum is rightfully MINE.
“We’ll see about that” I broadcast in no un-certain terms to Mum as I leaped up onto the chair right on top of that carrier bag.
Well, what a kafuffle that brought on. Mum began shouting at me, “No Shandy” and waving her arms around like a demented person. “That’s why I put the pug’s cage there” Mum explained to me like she was possessed, “so you can’t sit there.”
She un-ceremoniously shoved me off the chair and upset I slunk off to find a resting place far, far away from mum.
I found out soon what Mum meant by “the pug’s cage” because one day later when Mum had disappeared for some hours and had forgotten to put the carrier cage thing on her seat I leaped up there and was just turning round and round to pat down my bed when to my surprise I saw something – STRANGE.
There to the right on top of mum’s little printer in a recess of the Computer Station Desk was a puppy !! My first reaction was to snarl and to run away, then I thought sensibly to myself hang on that is a strange place for a pug so I gave it a sniff. It was a TOY PUPPY but I could not be sure because it was BREATHING.
Just to be sure I decided that under the bed was a much better place for me to have my nap so off I went. Over the days though I kept looking at that pug puppy and it never moved although it was breathing. It never did me any harm, then one day it stopped breathing to my relief. I thought Mum would bury it then, but she didn’t and just left it on her printer to look at and to talk to from time to time. A bit sad isn’t it?
Well, I got my revenge upon that Pug puppy and hopefully upon mum because after many many times of me jumping up onto the Pug’s red carrier cage which Mum put behind her whenever she sat at her computer, it got squashed. I will never work out why mum won’t share her chair with me, it’s not like she uses the whole seat at all times.
One day I heard mum telling dad that she had been to be scanned and the scanner told her she was allergic to cat fur. I don’t know what “allergic” means, but I was pleased when I heard mum laughing. She said to Dad “that’s funny because I have always had cats around me”.
I am utterly exhausted now having written enough for many months so you may not get a post from me in a month’s time, but we’ll see. To finish off nicely I will do what mum advised me to do as we are friends now because I have found a better place than Mum’s computer chair to sit on ( Dad’s computer chair ) and that is to post some photos of the Perfect Petzzz Pug Puppy. The pup keeps both mum and I happy because he is not real but looks real which makes Mum happy and a Happy Mum means a happy ME.
Thank you for reading this post.
Shandy ( not Cat-man-do)